My name is Trista Davis, I am from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and I am fat. Now that I have said that I would also like you to know that I have made a decision to stop defining my life by that. There is thin healthy person inside of me and I know that I can find her. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and that belief system stops TODAY!! I do not struggle with losing weight, losing weight is easy and I am going to make my body function the way that God intended. Now… a little bit about that. I believe that as humans we do not use our bodies or our minds to their full potential. I have put my body and my mind through a lot of abuse over the years and I believe that I can reverse all of that damage and challenge myself to do more than I ever thought possible. Every cell in your body has the ability to repair and regenerate itself if it is given the chance and it is time for me to give it that chance.

So here is the “meat and potatoes”of my history with my weight. I have always been a `big girl` now by big girl I really mean it, I am built like a football player, my shoulders are as wide if not wider then my husbands and I have has a body composition analyse done and I have 163lbs of lean mass in my body. So what that means is that my organs, muscle and bones weigh 163lbs, now right there that shatters the quote on quote standard for a 5 foot 6 female. If I have 163 lean pounds on me and women are supposed to be at least 20% body fat that means that my Ideal weight is actually about 193lbs.  Now a doctor has never told me that, they have told me that I should weigh between 115-145lbs now tell me how that is possible, I would have to cut off a leg or two just to get at the top end of “normal range”. Now don’t blame the doctors… they are just using the tools that they have. Personally I recommend getting a scale that measures body fat, that will give you the most accurate measurement of your progress. BMI is based on an average person”, so remember that when your Wii tells you you are overweight the Wii is Wrong!!! Anyways back to what I was saying my weight history. I have always considered myself to be overweight. I can remember feeling fat since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I have 2 younger sisters, one who is very thin and one who is built just like me, of course I was always comparing myself to my thin sister as well as all of my naturally thin friends. I was bullied all though elementary and junior high and actually quit eating lunch in elementary because I was too embarrassed to eat. The worst part about all this… I ate healthy!!! My mom(also naturally slim) owned a fitness center and was an aerobics instructor and a personal trainer. We only had pop and chips on special occasions and we had the best lunches of any of my classmates. Well in highschool things changed a bit, it’s when I got my first real boyfriend. He was 4 years older than me, I them came to the conclusion that older guys didn’t mind if you were a little heavy and so began the destruction of my self esteem and body. I look back at pictures of me in highschool and although I was not as thin as most of my friends I was my no means fat!!! Those shallow highschool boys still compared me to the stick thin girls all around me which turned me into a food obsessed young girl. At 16 I got myself into some trouble with drugs and alcohol, at this point I was my thinnest 185lbs. I continued this lifestyle and never dropped below 180. I was extremely unhealthy and not eating regularly as I was living away from home and did not eat properly not food and  I still did not think I was think I wore size 31 jeans and was still walking around thinking I was fat.

Just after my 18th birthday I returned home and kicked my bad habits which greatly improved my quality of life. It also brought the number on the scale back up. Over the next 2 years I gained over 75lbs. There were a bunch of contributing factors:  I got a good job and ate out ALOT, I got my licence back so I didn’t have to walk everywhere anymore; and I replaced my substance addiction with an alcohol and food addiction. Finally after 2 years of recovery from substance abuse and a bunch of weight gain I met a guy, a great guy who is now my husband. Now I definitely do not blame him for the next 15-20lbs that I gained but I just want to give you a visual of what happened. I chased him for a good 6 months, we started dating, 4 months later we moved in together. Now what happened when we moved in together…. I became the “good wife” I made him amazing meals with all the trimmings and desert alomost every night, we partied and ate out A LOT and had too much fun with food and alcohol. Then in September 2009 everything changed, I found the Ideal Protein Program. My mom brought it into her business and we were her “crash test dummies” I lost 54lbs in 14 weeks and James lost almost 70, I felt amazing… I opened an Ideal Protein clinic, I started helping other people lose weight. Along with running my clinic I was also working a full-time job. This put a lot of stress on James and I, we never seen each other, we started eating out again and all of our good habits fell apart. In February 2010 I lost my job(which turned into a blessing in disguise, but that is for another time) I got extremely depressed and started gaining some weight back. So for the last 2 years and 2 months I have not been able to stay on Ideal protein for more then a week or 2 at a time. But as of last week we have started again, my husband and I are doing this together! We are doing this as a family, for our future family. I do not want to be fat and pregnant, nor do I want to be a fat mom.

Thought for today : Deprivation is not living without certain foods, but living with them and depriving yourself of true Health and Happiness!!! What is more important to you?